Today’s diary

In my camera roll…

More beautiful cakes seeing in Vienna, coffee beans that make plain candles smell good, my beautiful mama and me by the Danube in Austria !

 

Listening…

To the noises of the fridge and the fan. How melodious ^^ But nothing says home like the “white sounds” you only hear there right ?

Starting…

Arabic. Last week, I met a Korean man who spoke Arabic ten times better than I do, and it encouraged me to start writing and reading in my mother tongue ! Youtube videos are so convenient (I watch “Learn Arabic with Maha”, which is really good by the way)

Feeling…

Grateful for a safe arrival in France after a week in Vienna; for the beautiful memories I made last week. And thankful for my blog

Wanting…

I need a new computer after 5 years with a decent one that is too heavy to carry around, so if you have any suggestions of computer under 600 euros/dollars (i.e, no Macbook for me now) let me know !

Planning…

The three last days of my internship; my registration for my master’s degree that starts on Friday; calls I have to make before leaving the hospital

Anticipating…

A productive school year, God willing; a life free of clutter and more minimalism when it comes to buying, organizing and lifestyle in general.

Laughing…

My parents missed the plane because they thought theirs was on Sunday while it was on Saturday. I should not be laughing, I know.My mom is usually the most organized person when it comes to traveling, a plane is like a second car for her yet my parents and my sister managed.to.miss.their.PLANE. Is it not SO EPIC ?

Highlight of the day

A very interesting conversation in the plane (which I did not miss as you can see ^^) with a lovely lady who now has my blog adress so if you are reading this HELLO 🙂

 

 

 

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This week’s thoughts and happenings

  1. I have sent, a few weeks ago, a handwritten letter to a 16 years old young girl. Her answer landed in my mailbox this week and I learned a lot of things through that. She thanked me because I called her “My Princess” and she told me she was really touched because I thought of her, because she was on my mind. Her letter brought me a lot of joy and it made me more conscious of the fact that we, older women/ladies, can be mentors and friends to younger ones. What a pleasure, too, to receive a handwritten letter ! It is SO much more personal than a mail or a quick “hello” on Facebook Messenger…
  2. It’s almost the end of the year. I have two exams left ! It will be my last year of community pharmacy before, God willing, I start my Master’s degree in immunology next year. I can’t wait !
  3. My friendship with a Muslim fellow student, whom I dearly love, taught me a lot of things. My parents are Syrian and Lebanese so through language and culture, I think it is easier to talk to a Muslim-still, I learned that you might be the only Bible a Muslim will ever read. Arabs are very, VERY attached to hospitality and I remember, when I invited this lady for supper along with other friends from the faculty, that she was touched that I had planned a meal that was suitable for her to eat. She was also surprised that my choice of dressing modestly came from the Bible’s teaching; so I am learning that hospitality, and obedience to the Lord in our daily acts can open a door for a discussion about the Gospel.
  4. Often, we don’t know. That very classy girl dressing in Chanel might have no friends at all. People, at the end of the day, no matter their backround, are in need of the Lord and of love. And we are in society where girls are experts at gossiping and making fun of each other, sadly. Be a lady of integrity. Be known for not having that tendency to gossip, and to divide frienships.
  5. Singleness is not an inferior status. In the past, singleness, for example in Corinth, was sometimes seen as something superior spiritually, and in our times, we often, even in the church, pity singles. I think there is a problem with both approaches. And to be honest, it can lead some who were content with their status to start wondering: “is there anything wrong with me ?”-no. You are not odd. It’s ok to be single, you are not suffering from leprosy, it’s perfectly fine. And I am tired of seeing society and even some Christians depicting marriage as the ultimate goal. Sure it is a good thing. Sure longings to share life with someone are good. But you know ? Marriage won’t last forever. In heaven, we will all be singles. And marriage is temporary, and might be very short ! I have a friend of mine, who after two years of marriage, and one or two msicarriages, her husband died and it made me think: her marriage was “made in heaven”. Madly in love, with each other, and with the Lord. And it ended after two years. As beautiful as it is, as a God given institution, will not necessarily look Pinterest-y and is not guaranteed to last 60 years. I read today, on Desiring God, that, “Christian hope is the confidence that an amazingly good future is securely ours”. Thanks to Christ, that good future is secured. We might not have all what we wish here on earth, but we have received, in Christ, the greatest Good. Eternity is bigger than anything.

My heart is heavy

rose

 

 

I am writing this post on Thursday because my weekend will, God willing, be very busy.

To be honest with you, I had scheduled in advance, for Friday, two articles. One on homemaking, and I thought of posting a recipe of those falafels I did for dinner tonight. But I decided to write something else instead because tonight, my heart is heavy. Sure, I enjoy all these things about homemaking and recipes and fashion and whatnot, but a few things happened this week that made me think, and made me sober:

I am working in a hospital, and my whole semester is about cancer. And everyday, I get to see patients who know, and I know it as well, that they only have a few months or weeks to live, and for some, they could die anytime. I will spare you the details but, though in medicine and pharmacy we have to take a kind of “distance” as to not be overwhelmed by emotion, in order to truly focus on our job… It is hard. We often have that illusion of immortality, we are so alive, and when you learn that soon, it will be the end, everything shatters in your head. You either deny it or face it, but my poor patients, do they have hope ? Do they know the Savior, and do they have hope ?

What made me ashamed about myself is that lately, it seems that I have made myself the center of my own little world and some aspects, was guilty of self-idolatry… And it was the words of an unbelieving friend at university that gave me a slap: “What I am seeing in the hospital, these days… It makes me think about life…What happened in Belgium… makes me sad…”.

I am truly guilty, sometimes, of wanting to lead a peaceful life free from pain and free from life’s reality -sure, I don’t want to live in a huge mansion in Miami and dress in Dolce and Gabbana, but even as I dream of a humble life, I find myself making the comfort of my home an idol, homemaking and my little routines idols, but till now I did not want to put a name on these things.

So tonight, as I am writing those words, I want to humble myself before our God and wake up. This life is not eternal, we are mortals, and at any time, we could die. As someone said, then, “Only one life twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last“.

Oh, to not seek to achieve spiritual disciplines for the sake of being called “spiritual women, godly women”, just for entitlement ! Oh, I am so ashamed that often I am knowledgeable about many things when it comes to the spiritual realm, or the Christian “culture” but when it comes to the work of Christ, how little do I know ! How few my thoughts are when it comes to what He has done !

Maybe it’s about time, to start getting serious about these things. I am not talking about doing more as a quantity but maybe, at least for me, it’s time to start evaluating some things in my life, and some of my priorities.

As I come back from school, I often cross a glamorous place in the Centre-Ville.

 

home

The said street.

There, you find all those French shops selling high-end clothes. All those lovely French cafés. Those restaurants that make us all proud of our culture Francaise. Yet it breaks my heart to find that in the midst of all this architectural beauty, there are TONS of beggars in that street. And it kills me to see that we have made food an idol, especially here in France, and do not care for our poors the way the early Christians did: they fed everyone, believers and unbelievers alike, with such love that even the last pagan emperor of the Roman Empire, though he hated them, could not but admit they were full of good deeds. As Leonard Ravenhill said, the early Christians did not have all those huge churches and technologies and ministries and all those things yet they turned the world upside down. We have so much, and at least in my case, I do so little.

Truly, as somebody else said, prosperity does more harm to the Church than adversity does. You see that in the Proverbs, I think:

“give me neither poverty nor riches,

but give me only my daily bread.

Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you

and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’

Or I may become poor and steal,

and so dishonor the name of my God.” (Proverbs 30:8-9) 

I clearly remember that when I went through hard things in my life, it is there that I cried for God. That when I lost everything and everyone, when my little crystal castle shattered, God was my only refuge. But how careful are we to be when we have a lot… The cares of this age (Mark 4:19) are like ropes around our necks. You just finished eating, and before you are done with the last bite, you are scrolling down endless pages on Instagram looking for more food, instead of giving thanks. Instead of being like John the Baptist, who was happy that he could decrease so Christ would increase, we constantly worry about what people are thinking about us, as if we were the center of the world ! What a culture of narcissim we live in !

And I wonder, is all what I am doing just wishful thinking and pretty thoughts put together just so I would publish another post on my blog ? We talk SO MUCH these days and do SO little !

So this is it. I would love to apologize for this post with randoms thoughts here and there, but my intention was not to make a Pinterest-worthy post here. I wanted to express my thoughts: maybe it’s time, to take life seriously, to realize that there is pain in the world, maybe it’s time to go down on our knees and to pray, for real, and not out of boring duty, maybe it’s time, to wake up, and follow the Savior, and pray that others would come to know Him as well.